dietcian and social work appointments

So yesterday I had 2 appointments in hamilton regarding the surgery. it was long, but left me feeling very positive. the first one was with the dietcian. she went over my forms, and we talked about what i eat in a day. she told me ways to work on preparing for the surergy. I need to work on elminating ice caps and pop, and fast food. and work on eating slowly and drinking more water. i still have months, so i will be slowly working on each thing weaning off and so forth. she said i could do it whatever way is best for me. i got my actual weight...which honestyl was even higher then i thought. it was scary sad. I know most likly i wont ever be thin...i will always be somewhat overweight...but thats ok. as long as i can do more things and am healthy. I want to lose about 250 lbs in total. after i have started to lose weight...one day i might confess what my starting weight was lol. we also talked to social work...about why i over eat, about my bipolar, what happened that i gained so much weight etc...and they want me to speak to a pysgoloist there just to make sure i can mentally handle all this. i think it would be ok, i was reassured that just becuase i have a mental illness does not disqualify me automatically. i go back for that may 30th. then my next appoinment is july 2, they go over all my test results and see how risky the surgery would be for me and decide if they want to do it or if it would be too risky. so far all my test results (ultrasound, blood work, etc..) have been good. so i am not too worried. i do have to do another test before then (forget the name but they stick a camera down my throat) and give them the results of the sleep study i had last week.(which will be about another 3-5 weeks before i get the results). the rough estimate i got, if all goes well, is 6-9 months to wait for the suregery. so somewhere between nov-jan i should be having ti done. yay! i know a lot of ppl do not agree with me doing this. but honestly unless you have lived my life, walked in my shoes and know what its like to be this overweight, you have no right to judge. :)

Gastric Bypass Suregery.

So here i am. In the process of trying to see if i qualify for gastric bypass surgery. its a long road before you even get to the suregery i am finding out. I was reffered from my family docotor to the program in Hamilton. Then i waited 6 months for my orientation date. there i learned all about the process, the hidden costs, the do's and dont's, etc...really so i would know what i was getting into and decide if it was something i want. i do want it, i am supper morbidly obese. I can barely walk now the back and knee pain is so bad. self care is hard, i have severe reflux, PCOS, and breathing issues. ppl probably wonder how i let it get this bad...honestly i dont know but i am ashamed. After my 3rd was born (hes now 5) i did well on WW i lost 96lbs....then i started meds for bipolar...i couldnt lose weight no matter how much i tried. and trust me i really wanted that 100lb loss certficate! in fact i soon started to gain. then we decided to have another baby, and we were soon pregnant. I dont know what happened but WW training just flew out the window and i ate a lot, i ate whatever and whenever i wanted..it was ok I was pregnant right? and i had never gained any weight my last 3 pregnancies. for some reson i thought it would be ok. it wasn't. i gained back all the weight i had lost, plus more. then after the baby came i suffered from severe ppd, and ended up in hospital. well, everyone there eats and eats and eats. theres not much else to do between family visits, dr visits and therapy. mostly we ate and watched tv, or slept. plus you could order however much you wanted for the meals, i also soon learned the trcik to ordering things like pizza and hamburgers. I thought it was ok, ev eryone (except the anaxeroic woman) ate like that. its just what you did, they all said it was our meds that make us that hungry. I think some meds to, and to a degree...but we obviously abused that excuse. well by the time i was home, i had gained so much weight i didnt see any point. i did try ww a few times again, but it felt hopless and soon i was off track again. now, how many years later i had pretty much given up trying to be thin. I am not working, partly due to the back pain ( i cant stand for more then a minute without severe pain) partly because of my bipolar/anxiety. I am trying but i think now I am addicted to eating unhealthy things. I am trying to improve my diet to prepare for the suregery. i also did all the blood tests, ultrasound, and ECG, that is required before my next appointment on may 15th. (6 months since my orinetation) next all i need to do is the forms, and questionaires that i need to bring with me to that appointment. i am excited, i am nervous. I know it wont be easy, i will need support, but i am hoping this suregery will forever change my life...for the good. in this blog i will share everything that happens with the suregery before and after. i will post stats and update with pics as i go.